Confidence Win

For the first time in a long while, I feel like there is hope for me.

Basically, I spent all day going over my bad money planning, and with a little brain-work on the part of my lovely Sandra, and a lot of sheepish admissions of idiocy from me (which she gracefully brushed aside), I think I might actually get out of this mess with sone dignity.

I told her:

I'm an intelligent person, but when it comes to money, I have a mental block. I was kept away from all talk of family finances when I was a kid, because we were always brokeass, and they wanted to keep me away from that. So I never learned how to manage money, or the value of a dollar."

...which is all true. If I had my way, I'd prefer to hand all my dough over to someone else and let them manage it (I say that as if I have TONNES of money. LOL) but I know that's not the intelligent thing to do, and it certainly won't teach me anything.

Now that I'm in my new place, and I've got Drew and me all settled into a routine, pretty much everything in my life is organized in some way, and that allows me to relasx a little... but there's always the money situation. For lack of any other assistance, I was forced by default to make bad decisions based on lack of experience and knowledge, and it took a loving kick in the ass from Sandra to give me some confidence that all was not lost.

I'm one of these stupid people (sometimes) who doesn't realize how good he has it until suddenly you're alone and you're going, "What the fuck am I doing?" And then you start thinking about all the things you could have done maybe a little bit better to prevent where you currently are, but by then it might be too late to get back.

Clearly, I've got a second chance here, so to you Sandra, let me just say that I won't let you down, now that you've helped me get this far, and I'll make the frustration you felt today worth it, so we can move on together, as a unit. I love you.