Finally!

After four long aggrivating years, Season Two of Night Court is finally being released on DVD in February 2009, four years after the first season was issued. It appears as thought the massive outcries of fans worldwide has finally forced Warner Brothers to listen.

But now there's no need to worry any longer, justice will finally be served... assuming they intend to keep releasing more seasons of this, and not space them out over four years apiece.

I direct you to my original post on this, almost two years ago...

So I've been waiting for months upon months for Season 2 of Night court to be released on DVD and now it looks as though it's not going to be released in its entirety. They are instead releasing 90 episodes cutting across all seasons on a 15 disc set. Mind you this is 90 episodes, but it's 90 episodes out of 193 so half of the series is being eliminated.

In that paragraph, I realize now I made an error. That box set I was referring to was in fact bootlegged. The episodes were burned to DVDs from old VHS recordings someone recorded off the TV. They have since expanded the collection to the entire series, and they wanted over $100 US for it, and it was reportedly awful quailty... But I digress...

This really pisses me off. I mean lets face it: there is SO MUCH CRAP out where all seasons are being released on DVD and a show that was high in the ratings for so long is getting shafted. Let look at a few examples shall we?

Doogie Howser, MD: Remember this peice of garbage? About a teenage prodigy who somehow managed to get through highschool, university and medical school in just a few years? Released in it's entirety on DVD.

The Nanny: Fran "Somebody Muzzle Me" Drescher's property about an annoying live-in caretaker which was basically centered around her whiny southern voice. The Entire Series is available for your eardrum piercing pleasure.

A Different World: Cosby Show spinoff where one of his spoiled kids leaves home and does a bunch of crap. I was surprised this show lasted six seasons (all beautifully captured on DVD!) to begin with, but I guess that's one of the benefits of having Bill Cosby as your executive producer.

Family Matters: God help us all.... Steve Erkel preserved for all time on DVD. Don't miss a moment of this retard's antics and don't forget to keep a barf bucket close at hand for the end of each ep where the music comes up for the obligatory heartfelt family moment. They should just rename this show Fecal Matters.

Wings: Okay, need I say anything about this? It's fucking WINGS! Other shows MADE FUN of this show!! What's on now? Wings. AUUUGH!!! TURN THE TV OFF!! So now you can create your own personal hell by purchasing the entire series. Comes with flaming bamboo for under your fingernails while you watch.

Do you see what I mean? How can a show that won five Emmys and was nominated for nine more NOT BE RELEASED ON DVD? It was right up there in ratings with Cheers for dog's sake! GRAW!!!!

No wonder I don't have cable anymore. The entire industry is messed up.

Well spoken, me. Since then, more awful shows have also been released, for some reason.

Mama's Family. For the longest time, I thought the actress playing Mama was a man in drag. And her voice was enough to make nails on a chalkboard sound like the soothing notes of a songbird.

Fraggle Rock. I know I'm gonna get flamed for this by some people in my circle, but I don't care. I wanted to stomp all these little bastards, just like the Smurfs.

Full House. The less hackneyed Bob Sagat moments in the world, the better.

Judge Judy. All I can say to this is, Oh dear God...

I could go on, but I'm getting away from the point.

I urge all you Night Court fans to do you part and buy this second volume PLEASE, so I can finally have my favourite TV show in its entirety.

You can preorder the DVD set already from amazon.com, and get a $10 discount if you do.

Bad Day

The lyrics to the single from my next album.

--



Eyes drift open
The television babysitter
Cigarette smoking halo
Around my sorry lips
Someone take that mirror down
There's blood on my toothbrush
The bus driver meets your half-dead stare
Polyester air holes all around
Greasy window glass
Where someone's rest his head in shame
You think too much

Horses graze by the roadside
They don't know when their time will come
Rising up the hillside at one foot per second
Watch and wait while the seconds wander by
Slow motion girders
A concrete line
Cutting its way through the green
Grey clouds and shadow
A psychological echo
Just get to the safehouse on time

Haphazard greetings
And lumbar support
New-age screensaver
And a corkboard shrine
Peanuts in a plastic jar
How did you get to where you are
The photographs stare at you
While the fax machine whines
I let my fingers do the talking
Solving the problems of the world
I pick up the phone
But there's always no one there
A DTMF nightmare

Somewhere in my mind
An oasis of calm
Among the mental wreckage
And cross-circuited imagery
An island of serenity
With all of the amenities
Of a life I think other people have
But it's late now, too late
The deadline's passed
And you've begun to realize
That you've forsaken everything
You once held dear
Your prison is this chair
Inside this room
You can't escape the status quo
The picture mock you
But you can't turn away

--

Read more information

Also, I've opened up the beta version of The Perpetual Archive, which will feature a lot of free music from the old EtherReal days, and previews of the new material as well, with lots of freebies and bonus tracks. It's my hope that the PA will be a storehouse for all my music related thoughts, and give anyone who cares a bit of insight into my work.

Bargains Worth Killing For?

It's all been said so far, with regard to the ridiculous and pointless death of Rhode Island Wal-Mart employee Jdimytai Damour, but it still bears comment.

As you probably already know, Damour was a temporary security guard who was trampled to death during a Black Friday blitz by more than 2000 frenzied shoppers barreling through the front doors at 5 am.

I think it's obvious what to think about this. You shouldn't have to go to work for minimum wage one day and and feel that your life is at risk. It's a senseless demonstration of the power of the almighty dollar and the questionable marketing strategies of a monster company that needs to be taken down several pegs.

What bothers me the most is reports that investigators and police are viewing video footage of the event and trying to determine who among the patrons, if anyone, can be identified and prosecuted for criminal negligence in the death.

First of all, I don't think such a case is possible. I also don't think it's warranted. For starters, the nature of a crowd like this is that if you don't keep moving with the flow, you will be taken down yourself, and end up like Damour. There are several statements by shoppers fearing for their lives in this manner. "They were jumping over the barricades and breaking down the door," said Pat Alexander, 53, of Crown Heights, Brooklyn. "Everyone was screaming. You just had to keep walking on your toes to keep from falling over."

There are also different types of people who expressed little or no concern for the fallen employee when asked to leave. Said Kimberly Cribbs, a Walmart employee, "When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling, 'I've been on line since Friday morning!'" They kept shopping."

The point I'm trying to make here is that while the crowd as an entity displayed little or no regard for such things as safety, orderliness or basic concern for their fellow man, it's not them who should be held accountable, it's Walmart. The crowd mentality was created as a direct result of Walmart's negligence. Consider the following:

- The store opened at 5am after much pomp and circumstance, creating a hype that in the customers' minds translated as, 'this is going to be big, we'd better get there early before they run out of shit.' Walmart has seen this work many times, as far back as Cabbage Patch Dolls, and continuing with the release of every major game console in the last fifteen years, as well as previous black Fridays. They sounded a mating call, with the intent to gather as many people as possible, and the people responded.

- I feel they knew very well that they had not enough security to handle the onslaught, wrongly assuming the crowd would behave itself. But before the doors were even open, the throng was already chanting, "Push the doors in!" according to reports. To me, if I were the store manager, it would raise serious questions as to whether it would be safe to let this mob in the place. But they did anyway, and the crowd literally tore the doors off the hinges. We know the rest of the story.

- The sign outside said BLITZ LINE STARTS HERE. For your edification, Dictionary.com defines the word 'blitz' as the following:

a. an overwhelming all-out attack, esp. a swift ground attack using armored units and air support.
b. an intensive aerial bombing.

... and this is exactly how the crowd behaved. Walmart got what they asked for.

- Two hours after the tragedy, the fucking store REOPENED. This is absolutely inexcusable, and speaks volumes about the morals of this company.

I think it's clear who the real culprit in this debacle is. There are rumblings about a civil suit against Walmart, which will probably prove to be more public than any cases against individuals. But that fact of that matter is that we all know Walmart was already circling the legal wagons on this mere moments after it happened. It seems likely that they would agree to a settlement of some amount of money, meager when compared to the total holdings of the corporation, just something to keep the families from pursuing this for too long. They won't outrightly admit any blame, and it will not hurt Walmart one bit in the long run. They will be allowed to continue along their merry way, because that, again, is the almighty dollar at work.

Walmart played on the failing economy, the gullibility of their customers, and their own selfishness and greediness to cause this. I'm not saying that Walmart should be brought down completely (even though I do feel that way), because that's not realistic in terms of history. The rich and powerful have the ability to buy their way out of everything. But at the very least, there needs to be accountability in this disaster, and something more than a paltry sum of money paid out of fear of bad press. There needs to be real remorse and regret shown for this by SOMEONE responsible.

In other related news, two men shot and killed each other in a Toys R Us in California the very same day as the Walmart death. There is nothing in the story to assume it had anything to do with a particular sale; it may have just been a personal disagreement... but when you go shopping at a kids' toy store, do you really think seriously that you could get shot and killed accidentally? I shudder to think sometimes of the kind of world we live in, and the kinds of people we are forced to share it with.

All in all, it's not hard to see why internet shopping has become so popular. I kind of don't want to leave my house now.

May The Cubes Be With You

So I've been turned on to Cubees (the extra E is for Ex

May The Cubes Be With You

So I've been turned on to Cubees (the extra E is for EXCITEMENT!). They are 3-dimensional paper toys that you assemble yourself. Simply download a template of your favourite character, print it out, cut the objects out, and assemble. No glue needed, the parts are held together with tabs and slots. What fun!


The sheer variety of characters on here is awesome, both easily recognizable as well as obscure, and the selection is right up my alley. They have all sorts of cartoon characters, and real people as well, even the President-Elect, Mr. Obama.


I had to download and try one of these right away, and I chose McGuirk from Home Movies, cos he rocks. I didn't use card stock as they recommended (because I was out), but it works pretty well with just regular copier paper as well. This was a "two-scissor" difficulty level, and I'm not sure how much more difficult the three- or four-scissor levels are. The arms in particular were pretty hard to put together because they are kind of small. If you have sausage fingers, then you should prbably not make the attempt at... cubee-ing?... yeah.

Here's my finished Coach McGuirk.




I had the idea that these would make awesome Christmas ornaments.... I'm gonna suggest it to the girlfriend and see what she says. It could be a cubee Christmas for all of us :)

Check out Cubeecraft now, and get your cube-on!

(Gee, could I make any more cube jokes? Probably...)

I'm Your Mama, I'm Your Daddy, I'm That Crazy In The Alley

two twelve hour days in a row at work...
eyes feel like they are gonna bug out of my head from looking at these monitors...

Suddenly I'm taken over by a gangsta. It's my only 'excape'.


The Iceman's gonna beat ya down... with his knuckles.

...

Clearly... losing my mind.

A Matter Of Degrees

The touch of your hand on my back
They way I feel sometimes
The warm glow of the streetlights at 4 am
Clean pillowcases

The smell after an April thunder storm
That way you look at me
A cool breeze in summertime
Pineapple rings

Having a pint in a crowded pub
Eighty-eight black and white
Knowing you're thinking of me
A day to ourselves

My favourite song on the radio
The pictures on my wall
Having a secret to share with you
Bending down to lift her up
This place in my head where I keep thoughts of you
Laughing together

These things I can't do without
It's not an absolute
It's a matter of degrees.

It's Going To Be A Rough Christmas.

Got these over MSN today from my kid.

Freedom 35 says:
why are you sad?
drew says:
i miss you

merr.....

Blast From The Past

Was randomly browsing Deviantart today, and came across my old (and now abandonded) art page, I saw these again, and decided that I should preserve them, blog-style. They took me a long time to do, and I hold them in as high regard as the Ignatz collection.

The Internet Savvy Of A Five-Year-Old

Drew has a habit of drawing me things on MSN Messenger, and I have decided to post some of them here. Some of these are new, and some are from my old blog.
































It's so amazing to see how creative she is. I can't wait to see what she grows up to be. Generally, she is advanced. She's already learning the lingo of MSNing. Check this out.

drew says:
grr GO TO BED
Freedom 35 says:
i can't I am at work. you go to bed.
drew says:
LOL
drew says:
NO
Freedom 35 says:
okay!
drew says:
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

So it seems her mom has taught her the rudimentaries of internet anagrams, but hasn't managed to convince her to stop with the toilet humour. That's all fine with me.

Hocus Pocus Flippity-Flam

One of the great things about some drunk people is that they are impressed very easily. I'm sitting in Ray's Boathouse one Friday and playing with my can of Strongbow. I managed to find the sweet spot where I was able to balance the can on the bottom rim with just enough cider inside of it to weigh it downward and not allow it to tip over.

This is how I amuse myself.

The Sincerest Form Of Flattery... and Boredom

Trying to finish off this record by the fall proved to be a difficult task indeed. After a massive creative spurt during the spring, during which I created four tracks for the CD, my muse unceremoniously went on vacation to Maui and I haven't really seen her since. It's been frustrating to say the least. But soldier on, I must, and I've been trying to finish off tracks I've started, start tracks I've heard in my head and generally try to keep my musical ear busy so I don't lose my chops.

Something I end up doing just by way of this has been creating remixes or cover versions of other people's tracks. It's a great way for a producer or engineer, first of all, to see how 'the greats' were able to put the whole thing together and see the song from the inside out, so to speak.

This summer and fall, I've done an unprecedented amount of cover versions. Rather than doing these songs under the PEM moniker, I decided to rise EtherReal from the ashes and create these songs under the anagrammatic Earl Three. It all started most recently when I was struggling with a fifth track from Stop/Time, and I gave up on what I was working on, and started messing around with an acappella version of Michael Jackson's "They Don't Care About Us" that I found on P2P. I hadn't been really impressed with any of the remixes that had come out for this in 1995, so in the words of Prince, "Whenever I want to hear some new music, I just go and make some."

Michael Jackson - They Don't Care About Us (Earl 3's Earban Remix)

Actually, I first realized how fun and rewarding this kind of thing was for me at Mopalooza a few years back when he asked me to come up with some backing tracks for the jam band. He wanted 80's tunes, so he basically knew where to come for that. We came up with a list of 5 songs, and I recreated them as best I could using software synths and in some cases samples of the original instruments from the tracks themselves. Mo was ecstatic.

Kon - Kan - I Beg Your Pardon (Earl 3's Club Instrumental w/Reprise)

Yazoo - Don't Go (Earl 3's Instrumental)

New Order - Bizarre Love Triangle (Earl 3's Respect-A-Shep Instrumental)

It didn't stop there. At the right in the PEM music widget, you can see the other Earl 3 tracks that have surfaced since that time. I've progressed slightly in that I'm not merely recreating the musical bits, now I'm actually singing the vocals myself, now that I'm a little more content with hearing the sound of my own voice. Although, there is one other one that I would like to add in this post, a Pet Shop Boys cover, a straight copy from Disco 3, no remixing involved, other than adding my own vocals.

Earl Three - Here (PSB-Style Remix)

As fun as this is, here's hoping that a new record will emerge early next year.

The Obaminator has OBAMINATED.

I can't remember the last time I was not filled with a feeling of dread after the closing of an American election. And being a Canadian, that's saying something.

I had been predicting that a republican president would again be elected into the White House, even to the point of aggrivating my mother, a devout Obama supporter, but I'm absolutely delighted to be wrong. Whatever the motivation, the Americans have done what I feel is the right thing today, and really impressed me.

Obama's speech was marvellous, and moved me, quite uncharacteristically, to tears. I even have to hand it to McCain, his concession was also quite eloquent and honest in light of some of his actions and words during the campaign.

There are many nay-sayers even now in the light of this victory. All I can say is that I hope that Obama will be the kind of president that everyone expects he can be, but he is right -- it's not his job alone to provide change, it's everyone's job.

A big cause of concern in the next four years for America is that people will interpret a lack of rapid change to be a fault of one man alone, rather than the natural time needed when trying to rebuild a nation from the state the elephants left it in. In addition to that, he will be under so much scrutiny, the weight of which would break Atlas' back, and I hope he can prevail. I think we all need him too.

It's not often I can say I've witnessed a piece of history, but this is a big one for me. I am left sleepless with the gravity of it.

Congrats from Canada, America. You've gone a long way to restoring my damaged feelings for you as a nation.

Halloween 2008

I haven't dressed up for Halloween in five years. Usually the reason for this is because I don't really give a shit. Halloween hasn't really been very fun for me since I stopped eating a lot of candy, so I'd say since I was about 22. In any case, every year all my friends (who seem to live love the crap out of the idea) plan elaborate parties and costumes, and I don't bother. Once in a while I will decide I don't wanna be the odd man out and try to come up with a last minute idea. I'll wrack my brain for about two hours then give up and just go out dressed in my civvies.

This year, the idea was for Dave and I to dress up as Trailer Park Boys. He got me hooked on the show earlier this year, and it's been our program of choice for our now occasional but once regular drunken TV watching sessions on weekends. I didn't really think he'd actually go through with it, so I didn't bother scrambling around for a costume.

Then we all went to a preliminary Halloween party thrown by a friend, and he shows up wearing a Sunnyvale hockey jersey (BUBBLES 99) and these goofy glasses with huge black frames that make him look more like Harry Caray than Bubbles. But all the same he kinda showed me up that day and I silently vowed not to be outdone.


Originally Dave wanted to dress as Ricky, but I talked him out of it because he is so clearly Bubbles. His hairline and colour, the shape of his face, etcetera. I not so kindly told him that he didn't have enough hair to pass of Ricky. The joke of it was that neither one of us did, in actual fact. But on that day, we agreed that he would be Bubbles and I would be Ricky, and I set out on a three week mission to find gaudy shirts and track pants, and try to grow mutton chops and a goofy pompadour.

After about a week and a half of this, I realized I wasn't going to be any better of a better Ricky than Dave would have been. My facial hair simply doesn't grow in enough, and my body frame isn't convincing enough. Rob Wells used to play football and I'm just not built that way. So I more or less gave up on the idea. I assumed that Dave would too. But then the fateful Halloween party disproved that theory.

So, in typical Brian style, on Halloween afternoon at 4:30 I decide to throw together a Julian costume. I do this every year. Most years it doesn't pay off. But i thought, if I can just find the right clothes, and figure out a way to get my hair jet black, it just might work. So I head over to Value Village and Walmart.

• 1 black elastic knit t-shirt - $5.99
• 1 fake gold chain - $4.99
• 1 crappy costume jewelry ring - $3.99
• 1 box Loreal black hair dye - $13.99
• 1 pair dark sunglasses - $6.99
• 1 pkg. 'pirate' makeup crayons - $2.99

I fail to locate a chain bracelet or clip on earring to complete the look, but I have all the other items needed. Also, at Value Village I find the perfect Ricky shirt and I have to buy it because it's just so perfect, and I might wanna use it at some other point.

So I get all this crap home, and I realize I haven't really thought this through. I've spent all this money but I still don't know whether I can pull of Julian convincingly. JP Tremblay, let's face it, is a good looking guy; he's got those classic chiseled Roman facial features that I simply don't have, his skin is clean and unmarked, and he's got twice as much muscular bulk as I do, especially in the arms. So given that the hair dye i bought is semi-permanent (washes out in 28 days) I opt to test the makeup and the outfit first do see how good it looks, deciding that if it looks crap, I'll just bail on the idea and return the other stuff.

I don the black jeans that I already had, the t-shirt and unwrap the makeup. I start applying the devil's moustache and goat with the black makeup crayon, and I check out the mirror. It doesn't look too bad. I put on some of the bling and the shades. Even with my brown/gray mop it's starting to look enough like Julian that I'm almost convinced this is a good idea. The last touch: I grab a highball from the cupboard and check myself out in the full length mirror in my living room.

The whole look is a little awesome, even with the non-black hair. I'm decided -- it's on.


30 minutes later, my hair is jet black, and although it's not as long as Julian's it's not noticeable. After a couple of quick beers, I pack up all my stuff and head for Sandra's, where I will become Julian for the night.

Once there, the transformation doesn't take very long. I reapply the makeup (I washed it off before I took the bus downtown), and try to work on the hair. It's hard to recreate Julian's particular 'do, but then it's hard to do just about anything with my brillo hair, so I just try to make the hairline look accurate with some styling mud. put on the bling and shades and voila: instant Trailer Park.

While she's getting ready, I start practicing in the mirror. I've seen the whole series about six times now, so it doesn't take me long to get into character. Thanks to Sandra's generosity, she lends me a highball for the night, and I fill it with pop and ice, which I will then carry the seven blocks to the bar everyone is meeting at. I don't wear a jacket because it spoils the look and plus it's very mild out tonight. When we get halfway there, she asks me if I spiked the pop with actual liquor. I tell her that I didn't want to take any chances that a cop might stop me and ask me what's in the glass. The likelihood of this is slim, but I'm playing it safe, although that would have been a classic opportunity to really play Julian.

When I walk into the bar, I immediately hear, 'Hey, Julian's here!" and 'Where's Bubbles?" It's not widespread in it's recognizablity, but it's enough.

Dave shows up as Bubbles and does a bit of a double take. I'm in full on Julian mode now, standing in front of the table holding my drink. In his hsate to get over to me, he knocks over Jay's pint, because he can't see a fucking thing through his plastic coke-bottle lenses, but apart from that, he's clearly impressed by the success of my look. I'm satisfied that I've outdone him, and we get on to the business of drinking.


Over the course of the night, more people show up and many pics are taken. I tell Dave that he has to stay close to me for the Julian think to really work. For anyone who doesn't really know the show, they are more likely to recognize me as Julian if Bubbles is close by, but on my own I could just as easily be mistaken for George Michael.

A couple of Jay's band buddies show up as state troopers. This is just perfect. As I walk by them to refill my drink, the big one looks me up and down, blocking me and I stare him down. "I haven't done anything wrong," I say, a la Julian. "You've got no right to detain me. I'm gonna leave now."


Outside having a smoke, there is an old dude with a metal pot strapped to his head. He is a pot head. Clever. "Where's Ricky?" he asks drunkenly.

"Ricky's in jail," I respond in Julian-ese. Then he wants to know if we can score him some dope. I tell him we're not working tonight, we're just getting drunk and stoned with our friends.

"Besides, all we have is some shitty mall dope," Bubbles says.

I'm drinking rum and coke, obviously, but it's not really having any effect (at first). Whenever I order a drink, I have to repour it. I've tried to give the waitresses my personal highball, but they won't put my drink in it for some reason. They always bring their own glass. So I have to take the lime and stir stick out of it and repour it into my own glass. Another perfect opportunity for a classic TPB moment.

When we move the foursome to Ray's Boathouse, the effect of Julian and Bubbles is a lot more pronounced. Immediately upon entering, we were photographed by strangers, and our 'names' were shouted out. I clink everyone's glasses along the way. It was kinda like being a celebrity... but not really I suppose.

We don't win any costume contests, but then I wasn't really expecting to. What actually happened that I also didn't expect was that I actually had a lot of fun for once on Halloween.

One of the great things about some drunk people is that they are impressed very easily. I'm sitting in Ray's Boathouse last Friday