The Bottom Line

The more I deal with government agencies, the more I realize how trapped we are as a society with the financial bottom line. In trying to find a way to sort out my deteriorating financial situation, I am repeatedly shot down by everyone because on paper I make too much.

To illustrate, I recently applied to a municipal government agency which provides short term loans to pay off rent arrears to those individuals who find themselves behind or in danger of eviction. My situation hasn't gotten that dire yet, I am in no danger of getting thrown out since my landlords seem willing to work with me. But having found myself in a situation where I am living one paycheck ahead of myself in order to pay for all the expenses I have accrued, I thought it wouldn't hurt to apply for this service. I expected to be turned down, and I was not disappointed.

I wrote down all of my income and outgo, and the numbers clearly indicate that the expenses are more than what I make at the moment, and if that weren't enough, I also wrote a 2-page letter describing the circumstances behind this problem, and why I felt that I should be considered for the loan, even in light of the fact that I am slightly over the poverty line, and the fact that I have my daughter to take care of.

Got the call today and naturally, they unilaterally denied me the service based on my income alone. This is the same answer that I have been given by just about every service that I have applied. There is simply no service out there that will assist someone with an income over poverty. They will not take the time to look at the numbers involved or each person's individual situation, they only look at one number and that's all.

I even asked the woman at this agency what a person like me is supposed to do. Clearly, I am not making it, and there are no more resources like theirs that I can ask for help. She had the usual useless suggestions; ask family or friends for help, ask my bank for a loan. I told her that if I could do any of those things, I wouldn't be talking to her. At this point, i heard in the underbelly of her voice that she just wanted to get off the phone, so rather than force the issue (even though I was extremely frustrated) I simply hung up.

So I am back to where I started from; trying to operate on a deficit, and hope that the government money that I have been expecting comes when it is supposed to. Drew is out of daycare at the end of this week, and the last check I wrote them has already bounced. My new sitter that I have hired for the summer at $100 a week is supposed to start next week, and I'm not sure how I'm going to pay her. I've simply run out of money, and I'm writing checks for things that I need, and I haven't the slightest idea how to cover them all. I'm exhausted in thinking about this, and exhausted physically. I have no energy anymore, and the phenomenon is causing me to fall behind on the household chores.

To make matters worse, I tried to do a cleaning blitz yesterday, and I was having one of those days where I should have just stayed in bed, because everything I try and do ends up a disaster. Yesterday, in trying to clean behind my computer desk, I stood up and cracked the left side of my head on my wall shelf, and in recoiling from that, I cracked the other side of my head on the sharp corner of the hutch, and now I have symmetrical goose eggs, and I don't feel so hot, and should probably go get it checked out.

This is not a good place to be.

Pig Fucking Government Jerks

The Family Responsibility Office dragged its ass in processing the Notice of Withdrawal from the agency, and as a result, siphoned an additional $432 off me for child support payments, three months worth, the same three months I had my kid in my care. They refuse to return it.

The Canada Revenue Agency is dragging its ass in processing my applications for the Child Tax Credit and Universal Child Care Benefit and I need those assessments in order to apply for the municipal Daycare Subsidy program. One person told me it could be a month, another said it could be up to 80 days. They cannot tell me at what stage it is, or whether there is a problem with the application. I'm just as likely to receive a letter in mid-july, rather than the money I'm entitled to, asking for additional information, which will no doubt take another fucking 80 days to process.

While that busload of dung is going on, the Municipal Daycare Subsidy has a waiting list a mile long, and I would be a fourth tier applicant, which is to say, my child isn't handicapped, I do have a job, and I make over $20K a year. I might not become eligible for that until the fall, if at all, for all I know. Again, no one has any way of knowing.

Meanwhile, Drew is out of school in two weeks, and I absolutely cannot afford full time daycare at the price they are charging. Full time daycare is more than my rent for god's sake. I can't afford the part time I'm already paying for.

Something needs to be done about this ridiculous system that is in place now. When a person like myself, who has worked hard for a long time, struggling to be a producing and economically useful member of a working class, finds more benefit in solving his problems by getting fired from his job and going on welfare so that all manner of assistance and opportunity can be bestowed upon him, then, my friends, its time to fucking pack it in.